This can't be real
by Total Drama Queen Fortress
Summary: Death fic - 'No... This can't be real... This is NOT a way to go. How could this have happened? And why am I standing over here...' One of the turtles ends up falling off a roof. It's the way HOW it ends, what makes you question the things I tell you in this fic. One shot.


No... This can't be real. It can't be.

Tears are rapidly forming in my eyes, and absolutely no way to stop them from coming. I feel like screaming – screaming till my throat stops working. I hear my brothers shuffling towards me. To me that's a warning that they will try to hold me back. They don't even reach me. I hear one of them falling to his knees and loudly starts crying. This _can't_ be real. It mustn't be!

I try to crawl forward to the edge of the building, no one stops me from doing so. I can see a form laying on the ground underneath me. The sight of it makes me nauseous and I resist the urge to puke. I hear my immediate older brother talking beside me now. His voice is cracking. I never thought I'd hear something like that coming from him. He's always so strong. He would never show weakness.

'Why…. I…. I just _can't_ accept it! This is NOT how one must leave this world!'

He sobs. I know what he means.

I once again turn my head back to the pavement below. By this time, it's a battle between blinking the tears that well up in my eyes away, and staring down to see the horror below. One of the worst deaths I can imagine, is falling to your death. When you get shot you don't suffer from the fact that you _know_ you'll die. When falling from great heights, you are fully conscious and aware of your soon to come death. I shudder once again. I didn't even know my eyes could produce that amount of fluid.

I try to stand up, willing to jump down to see the pile of horror from up close. My brothers don't even notice me at this time. Before I can make any rash decisions, I hear my oldest brother speak, on a quiet tone.

'Brothers… I know this seems all too unreal… B-but we need to face reality. That is the toughest battle we'll ever have to face.'

Silence. Whimpering sounds from behind me. I still don't face my brothers.

'We m… mu-'

Leo couldn't finish is sentence. The tears stop him from finishing his sad lecture.

I hear Mikey's voice echoing through my head.

' _This is all my fault!'_

I close my eyes, and ball my fists.

How this happened? I still don't really know how. This is what I know.

* * *

 _We were on a nightly run in the city. There was not much stuff going on that night. We heard a car alarm go off, but that is not unusual in a city like New York. And we also saw someone step on a cat's tail, on purpose. That too is not that unusual, but wow that's just mean! Unfortunately we can't do much about things such as these. Like always, Raph decided that we did enough boring stuff for one night. Leo even agreed for once!_

 _I obediently followed, and say Mikey do the same thing. I knew both him and me totally agreed. I knew this was going to happen, anyway. The night before we did beat the crap out of those Foot soldiers. It was highly doubtful that they would strike again the night after._

 _Mikey tugged my arm – what made me snap out of my thoughts. With big puppy dog eyes, he stared up at me._

 _'Hey Donnie, shall we play a game? I know a great one! Please please please plea-'_

 _I put my finger on his lips before he could continue._

 _'What did I tell you Mikey? NO 'please-please' plea.'_

 _He chuckled._

 _'Ha! You said pee!'_

 _My eyelid twitched._

 _'No I didn't! I said 'plea', not 'pee'!'_

 _A 'nu-uh' 'ye-huh' discussion soon followed. Leo and Raph walked upon us. Leo grabbed Mikey's bandanna tails, and Raph grabbed mine. We both got dragged away from each other. Not without a struggle that is._

 _When we were able to stand up straight again, Leo spoke._

 _'What if we decide NOT to act as toddlers for once, and play a little game?'_

 _Mikey's eyes lit up immediately, and Raph rolled his eyes._

 _'That's great and all Fearless, but games ARE for toddlers. You are basically violating your own stupid proposal.'_

 _Well, that is kind of true._

 _'Leo, don't listen to him! I like the idea. Let's do it! Booyakasha!'_

 _Of course Mikey liked it. It's Mikey. What wouldn't he like?  
Leo glanced at me, seeing if I would mind playing a game. I just shrugged, and lightly nodded. That was enough for him to see that I agreed._

 _'That settles it. 3 vote against 1 of Mr. Grumpy over there.'_

 _Raph's crossed arms fell to his side._

 _'Hey! I never said that I wouldn't want to play a game. I just said that you violate your own rules!'_

 _'Either way, it's a yes to a game. So, anyone have an idea? Donnie?'_

 _I lightly jumped. Oh, didn't think of anything. Mikey seemed jealous. He wanted to tell about his game. He stood behind Leo and Raph, and started jumping up and down, one hand raised._

 _'Nah, not real-'_

 _I stopped talking when Mikey went jumping higher and tried to raise his hand even higher. I sighed, and decided to play along._

 _'Not really. But I think Mikey knows a nice game.'_

 _I saw him pulling his hand back, a gesture that said 'YES!'. We all looked at our little brother. He scraped his throat._

 _'Let's play…. Roof soccer!'_

 _Raph, Leo and me looked at each other with raised eyebrows._

 _'What? It's a great idea! I know.'_

 _Raph shrugged._

 _'I don't care what it is, as long as we start doing SOMETHING.'_

 _Roof soccer it was. Mikey showed us a worn, but still decent soccer ball from behind his back. He told us he found it yesterday after the fight, lost in a container. He wanted to use it ASAP. I was still wondering HOW he managed to transport the ball from the layer without a bag, when Leo decided on forming teams. Leo and Mikey against me and Raph. I was glad that I was paired up with Raph, really, but Raphael can get super competitive at these games. Better not mess things up, or you have to face an angry Raph – not the best thing before going to bed._

 _It was a fun game. Making soccer goals wasn't as hard as you might think. The roof offers a lot of 'goal'-materials. Soon the game started. It went all downhill from here on. Leo managed to score the first point for 'team A for Awesome', as Mikey called them. Our team was 'team Shut up', as Raph named us (It wasn't his first choice. We were discussing a name when Raph said 'Shut up!' to me, and Mikey declared that that was our name). A for Awesome scored once again, making it 2-0 for them. Leo and Mikey high-fived. Raph growled and started yelling at me._

 _'What's wrong with you Don? Step up your game!'_

 _'Look who's talking! You are trying to tackle Mikey more than trying to score a point. And why aren't you defending? That's not just my job!'_

 _'That's not my fault!' he shot back. 'He's mocking me!'_

 _We discovered that A for Awesome had already started and we continued our game. Raph scored, to our delight. I scored once too, and so did Mikey._

 _The score was 6-5 for Awesome now. This time, I was attacking and Raph was defending. I came closer to the opponent's goal, when I met Leo in the middle. I dodged him with some moves I saw Mikey do earlier, and continued to run to the goal. Suddenly Mikey was in front of me. He forced me to the edge of the field, aka the edge of the building. I heard both Raph and Leo encourage their teammates. I tried to move the ball around my little brother, but I only had one way to kick it away and that was to the left, away from the edge. I tried to lift the ball on my right foot, to swing it around Mike from his left side. He'd never see that coming!_

 _Only… We both lost our balance. Mikey thought I would go left, as I had expected. He swung his leg to my left, only to kick my shin. Since my other leg was dangling above the edge, so no foot was left to stand on. Mikey's form too fell to the ledge, because of the force of his kick and because I had my hand on his shoulder during the maneuver. Now we were both threatening to fall down. In that one second, I could see the fear in his eyes as he looked right into my eyes. My heart ached. I knew it was inevitable we'd fall. There was nothing I could do. The older brothers were heard screaming our names._

 _We both fell._

 _Before Mikey's fate was sealed, I pushed him with all my strength away from me, in the direction of the spot we were previously standing. My form soon disappeared from my little brother's sight. I was falling down – without dragging my brother with me._

* * *

Wait…. That IS what I remember….

But if that is true, how come I am standing on this building staring at a body on the cold hard ground?

The tears were still streaming down my face, but confusion took over. I wiped away my tears. I… I-I really thought Mikey fell… but…. That's not true is it?

I looked at my hands, seeing nothing strange about it. It was when I turned around to see my brothers, when my heart broke in a thousand pieces.

It wasn't Mikey they were crying for…. Mikey stood right there.

It was me.

I fell down.

I didn't hear Mikey's voice in my head. He was right there, standing behind me all the time. That means that I just experienced seeing my own death...

Yes... This is real.

Apparently, it can be.

* * *

 **[A/N]: Oof... heavy story huh?**

 **Okay I'm not an official writer. I'm an artist. I prefer drawing ^-^ but I tried!**

 **In the end it wasn't Mikey who fell down. anyone thought that?**

 **Also I want to be clear about something. I didn't chose this death because I 'liked it that way'. They might be heroes, but accidents happen. and the turtles jump roofs... almost every day... that's pretty sick, kids. sick and dangerous. accidents happen...**

 **This is a oneshot, so I don't think there will be a second part.**

 **STILL: comments are appreciated! Did you like it? did you think it was Donnie who fell down? anything not clear?**

 **xxx**


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